Page 6 - Annonce Dergi | İzmir Özel Saint-Joseph Fransız Lisesi
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The Lighthouse







        The wind  was howling  through  the  leaves of  the  trees   how I lived; it was like she didn’t seem to mind. Which
        that were changing into a brownish dirty color and slowly   was probably  the reason why she had been the only
        caressing the window that wrapped around the singular   person  who  talking  to  didn’t  really bother  me, for the
        big room I called home. It was starting to get colder day   past couple of years I even looked forward to my weekly
        by day, almost as cold as it was lonely but I didn’t mind. I   shopping trip just to talk to another human being that
        could hear the waves brush up against the shore under   didn’t judge my ways or gave me the coordinates of a
        the orange evening sun which meant that in just about   cargo ship.
        half an hour duty would call and I would have to get up   For the first couple years of visiting the store I found her
        to guide the ships back to land.                       extremely annoying, it felt like she was trying far too hard
        Whether it was through a storm or through a night sky   to ignore how I chose to live. However, looking back, I
        almost as clear as day, it was my job to warn the mighty   genuinely  don’t  think  she  was, I  think  she  was  just  as
        sailors of danger and make sure they were safe and     lonely as I was. Ironically, loneliness was what connected
        sound on the giant metal cans floating on the water like   us.
        clouds on a calm spring sky.
                                                               Without noticing time had passed yet again and I was in
        The lighthouse was on a small hill on a cliff just as small,   dire need to refill my pantry. I got up, changed into some
        overlooking  the  deepest  blue  blanket  that  held  man’s   decent clothes which  consisted of some old worn-out
        most discreet secrets. It was peaceful but not in the usual   jeans that had started to lose color, a jumper with holes
        way. It was quiet yet not quite enough but also too loud   on the elbows that were still recognizable even though I
        without being loud enough like muffled screams that you   had tried my best to mend them and a coat. I looked at
        knew were there but didn’t sound important enough to   myself in the stained mirror and thought good enough.
        do anything about.                                     I put my boots on, went up and turned on the giant light
        I came up here because I wanted to be alone. I wanted   of the tower then I left. I didn’t even bother to lock it since
                                                               the only person who came up here in the past decade
        to be so utterly alone that I could no longer live during   was no other than myself. I got in my truck and started
        the  day and  sleep  through the  night.  Somehow  doing   driving down the gravel path that connected to the main
        something supposedly everyone does and no one ever     road which led into the town. It was obvious that it had
        questions started to seem like a liability. The opportunity   rained, the gravel was stuck on the soles of my boots and
        felt like a perfect fit back then but I’m not as sure anymore.   the air had that wet dirt smell. I didn’t want to turn on the
        It’s been too long since I last woke up with the sun and   radio since I could never turn it off at the lighthouse so I
        slept along the dark, for the past 12 years the sun meant   had a small collection CD’s that Sherry would occasionally
        it was time for bed, it meant that it was time to pause   give me to keep me company during the car rides into
        everything that was happening and to rest my head on   town so I wouldn’t lose my mind completely. I put on one
        the same musty pillow that I had for a long, very long   of  those  and  started listening,  it  took  exactly eighteen
        time. For a good while the only times I heard a person   songs to complete my journey, that felt sort of offsetting
        speak was from the radio or at the small grocery store at   but it was still enough to make me smile a bit.
        the nearest town which was around an hour away since
        it was the only place still open after 6 p.m. other than the    I parked the truck right in front of the store that lit up
        pub across the street and even though I made a pity pact   the desolate street with its neon lights with one of the
        with myself that I would no longer oblige to the societal   letters broken and the other ones hanging on by threads
        norms a little over a decade ago, I still needed to feed   and a 24-hour sign. The only thing that could be heard in
        myself, making the shopkeeper, Sherry the only person I   the street other than the buzzing of the fluorescent lights
        really engaged in conversation with.                   was the muffled sound of the jukebox in the pub right
                                                               across the road and dogs howling. ı walked into the store
        From what I had learned from being potentially the most
        loyal customer the shop had seen; her family owned the   and started collecting the items that I drove an hour for,
        store for about fifty years and she had worked there for   oatmeal,  rice,  some  apples,  brown  sugar,  flour,  butter
        twenty  five  of  them  which  meant  that  she  must  have   and eggs. Once I got all the things on my list for the week
        had started to work there around the time she started   I went up to the register and was greeted by the warm
        high school. She was in her late thirties, a little on the   and optimistic smile of Sherry.
        shorter side  with  shoulder  length,  frizzy  auburn  hair   -Hey, stranger. What’s up?
        that reminded me of one of those terrier type dogs but   -Hi Sherry, good to see you too. I shot a weak smile.
        in a good way. She would always ask small, seemingly
        random questions but she would never ask why I lived   She  checked  out  my  items  and  it  paid  per  usual.  We

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